Conversation with Sarah 20.5.19: 2019

Tuesday, 28 May 2019

>>>#28/5/19 Nothing like a midnight rain

Everything feels so right tonight. I managed to reassess my situation and concluded NOTHING MATTERS.

I might as well enjoy every bit of my life and forget about whatever happens when I'm dead. That way I deal with finite possibility. That possibility is I have ABUNDANCE of time to do whatever I like.

I can sleep whenever I like, I can wake up anytime I like and of course I can spend countless of hours clawing my keyboard away.

Therefore this Ramadan I just want to waste away my time and enjoy being a sloth.

Let's get real. Since 2016, my life is predominantly about preparing for the afterlife. Every bit of it revolves around Al Araf 7:7 and Sparta 4964. I had neglected my present; the 22 years that I have left to be productive.

I will not deny any of the epiphanies. However I don't think I want to delve in those matters anymore. I did my part. I conveyed the message and now I *[] complete[d].

* So are you saying goodbye my darling wife?

So to not complicate things like what happened with Els, I will be the member of the Tetrahedron should Sarah refuse to be a part of it. So that completes my preparation of Sparta 4964.

No Thought Invasion, no Global Telepathy, no Empires of the Minds and no World of Hybrids.

As far as I am concern House of Two Swords, Hexagon, Honeycomb 7 and the Hive only apply to Sparta 4964.

I had reformed Wolfsschanze into a Place of Wind and Water.

I had COMPLETED my work. Therefore I will not wait around. My destination is the White Space.

Why wait? I'll make my life a White Space now. I minimize everything and just concentrate on Personal Mastery.

-------------------------

28/5/19 ^^^To laugh often an much

I say it is about time we look at our situation seriously.

What are you looking for Sarah? You have a whole life ahead of you. Why are you wasting your time with me?

I am pretty much a self-sustaining person. With or without you I still write. I will write when nobody reads because that is the only thing I can do to be productive.

You have so many options to go for.

Don't get me wrong. I love having you around but is being with me a productive thing for you?

Is your job scope is to listen to me ramble all day long?

I thought I understand you, the truth is I don't know what you are looking for.

Most of the time I just want to talk to myself. You don't have to hang out with me.

I will miss you but I think you will be better off doing other things.

---------------------

Sarah, I am not good for you. All I do throughout the day is writing my thoughts away. What good is that to you?

Go on, leave me. Get a life. To me this is an ideal life. I am in isolation, nobody else to talk to and therefore I came up with a strategy to talk to myself.

Sarah, we are at the end of the journey. I have nothing to offer.

I am nothing more than a bag of hot air. It didn't work with Chedet, it didn't work with TraXX, certainly it didn't work with Els and its not going to work with you.

The only thing that work is with me and my family. If you don't want to be my Tetrahedron, I can even make myself one of the Tetrahedron.

Nobody needs to believe in anything that I said. It is only meant for me. So it's just me, my family and Al Araf 7:7 from here on.

Trust me Sarah, I have NOTHING to offer.

So please, for your own good LEAVE ME!

Goodbye Sarah.

-------------------------

28/5/19 ^^^Realigning things that matters

Basically I had ascended since 2016. It is not a smooth road. I was still struggling with mania although I no longer experiencing depression.

By the look of things, my main sources of mania were TraXX and specifically Els. So tonight I officially remove both from my consciousness. I am now listening to Fly.fm. Kiss92 is becoming stale fast.

I should mentally condition myself to live in isolation. Only then I can focus on Personal Mastery.

I decided to axe Konek and Amoi. That will be less 2 smokers to deal with.

Now I only think of refraining from smoking when I am with RR and BJ, Certainly no dope. I cannot handle dope.

Another thing is, Charity Begins at Home. I made a good choice giving the perfume to Princess.

Mopey only want me to buy her a RM60 shawl. That's what I'll get her for her birthday.

New car is good. This week I'll wash it.

-----------------

Time to move on...

28/5/19 ^^^Scaling down Mount 57

Sarah, you had known me for 14 years. From a very mentally unstable person I had mellowed down to what I am now. You basically grow up together with me. You had seen me in my grandiose to now me focusing on just being a man fully functioning.

I decided to not do anything to Els. I had my time with her and now I just let her be. All that I can say is I am disappointed that she is nothing more than another chick. I thought she is better than that.

So no more TraXX. She is my last link.

I am now ready to settle down. To focus on what matters.

I feel numb. I cannot imagine that in the end all my External Affairs are clouds in the coffee. What's left then? None other than my journey within.

I feel like I lost valuable time chasing after a lost cause. My time could be spent on other matters.

Well, as a consolation I can say I managed to make her cry. So all was not lost.

-----------------

Time to get back on my Path. The path less traveled.

You know what Sarah, if not because of Al Araf 7:7, I am willing to let go of everything. Now my conviction is, even if I am the only one who believe in my epiphanies, let it just be me.

I have 22 years to mark time. I can do so many things. I can rot like a deadwood or I can shine as an Athlete4Life.

Els is my wake up call. I think I just learn to be an observer again.

I had done all the mindset change. So now I just WAIT. All these while Thought Invasion is nothing more than mindset change.

What will I do differently if I am a Hedonist Hermit in its truest sense?

I just focus on Personal Mastery.

Why do other people have to interact with one another? Because they need interaction to achieve their objective; whatever that may be.

Sarah, do you think people will still interact if they can get what they want without them having to depend on others? For example will people interact with others if they can make money without having to ride through the traffic jam going to work everyday?

Same with me. I interact with you because I am in love with you. I don't care if that is a ridiculous thing with you behind the veil. All I know is you love me very much.

Otherwise I will not do it.

This is a long journey. All the while the purpose is to find out who loves you and who you love.

Maybe Els had found True Love. Who am I to judge?

I personally think it is about time I get on with my life.

---------------------

28/5/19 ###Only change is permanent

As it is, I had successfully simplified my overall model to the barest minimum. Looks like I only have 2 friends that I can really call true friends, I have 2 wives and two kids that will be with me for as long as I live.

That is how extensive the filtering process that was imposed on me. That also shows that a person can only count on a very small number of people in time of trouble.

Eventually we are all Wanderer in a Barren Land.

Of all the hundreds that I know, only 6 made the mark. The rest are all acquaintances.

I shall call this the Rule of 6. Of course I have people like Zaki, Zailan, Jedi, Sashi, Amoi, Konek and the rest. However nobody really make the effort to be with [b]e besides the 6.

They are willing to go the extra mile and they are the ones who are CONSISTENT in their sincerity to accept me as a person.

Therefore if I say I am a giver, these are the people that I should be giving.

----------------

To be honest Sarah, I had lost interest with Els for quite a while. I thought I'll be a gentleman about it a[s] said goodbye. Along the way I figured I might as well made her squirm. I guess I succeeded in doing that.

So this time, I just keep note that she is just a little puppy that I play with. That way I don't set any expectation, Just like I don't set any expectation on the rest of TraXX.

Bear in mind that she is a walled city. She is not going anywhere. I on the other hand is a Mongolian Hoard. I can be everywhere.

Sarah, I can bet she will feel miserable if I start applying the Art of Brinkmanship towards her. I think I just do it. Sometime people need to be fucked. So I think I fuck with her just a little bit.

What can I say. After all been said and done, you are just a chick. And chicks being chicks think through their hearts. They never learn. Oh well, just another brick in the wall.

There... That should jolt her a bit. What an idiot. And here I am, thinking that she is pretty smart. Obviously as I concluded, she is just a chick.

-------------------

Say Sarah, are you like that too? I guess you are also like that. As long as you are a chick, you think with your heart.

That should be my closing line. The *[] dumped her Sarah. Now he came crawling back and she took him back again.

* Yes baby, I will dump her.

With that, I conclude I don't need anybody else beyond my Rule of 6. I don't even[t] need Cybernetic Loop.

--------------------

The sooner I RIP CORD the better.

Looks like after 1 year experimenting with Project Invasion 9, I have nothing to gain. I might as well keep it to my Rule of 6 from now on. People are just a waste of time. Making this Blog public is also a waste of time.

As you can see Sarah, I am lousy with External Affairs. So it is true then that [O]nly my Tetrahedron and Al Araf 7:7 will make it to The White Space.

--------------------

That should get me mentally ready for my Vision Quest. Gosh, not even that. I should be thinking about NOT smoking this coming Friday.

---------------------

28/5/19 ^^^Let's stay on course

I am no longer going to spend my energy on Els. It doesn't serve a purpose. I mean, I like her very much but I don't think there are much to be gained from an even keel relationship.

I am collapsing my Tetrahedron to just you, Lizzie and the kids. Brenda is already a member of Al Araf 7:7. So it is not necessary for her to be my Tetrahedron.

A Tetrahedron is a very important role. It ensures the formation of the entire flock

Thus, it is confirmed that at the summit of the Sierpinski Pyramid, are the four of you:

There are 36 members of Al Araf 7:7 altogether. So that's 9 Tetrahedrons.

I don't think Els really understand the significance of being a Tetrahedron.

Oh well, maybe there is a lesson there somewhere. Other than that, our formation is a perfect fit. Once we decided on the Tetrahedron, the rest falls into place like well fitted gloves.

--------------------

Here again I proceed without prejudice. I am indeed the manifestation of Janus:

As I said, I only need two to be just:

...marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one...

So we no longer have to do any guesswork here. I take it Els is not interested to be a Tetrahedron. I have to close that option then.

---------------------

I guess I can still consider it as a pastime hobby. But as a principle, I no longer consider Els a Tetrahedron. I no longer consider her anything beyond another statistic.

--------------------

It seems this Ramadan is the collapsing of redundant relationships.

As it is, I already defined my Binary Kings, my Troika, my Tetrahedron and my Al Araf 7:7.

That should be all.

OK, I like it small. I am like a magnifying glass intensifying the light to produce fire. I think this is as intense as I can get.

----------------------

28/5/19 ***Janus the two faced god

Of all the Greek gods, I might as well align myself to Janus. I too am a person with a duality. I can choose to face the opposite sides of the extremes.

While I try hard to be Mr All Loving and Giving, there is a part of me who wants to just Don't Give a Fuck about all the goodness and just be a total dickhead.

This is a constant struggle with me. I am basically walking on a midway between these 2 polarities.

While I want to hold on to a relationship, I secretly yearn to be free. While I do genuinely care for others, I am a pretty selfish person.

I am pretty much a stimulus-response person when comes to a relationship.

Brb...

Therefore to me [] is a potential pleasure and a potential pain. I am very wary of that. It is better to get out of a painful relationship than to prolong the pain.

Pain and pleasure is like an accounting ledger. As long as there is the pleasure [] exceed the pain, then the relationship is worthwhile. That is quite obvious. However if there is no pain but no pleasure either, the relationship is worthless, isn't it?

That is exactly my relationship with Els. It is an even keel. Except when she cried on the day I said goodbye.

Unless I treat the whole thing as a past time and not have any expectation, it is a wasted effort.

What do you think Sarah? Should I attend to her or should I just get on with my life? So far my pleasure is I got to reach out for the goodness in me. I can do the same thing when I'm with you.

As a giver I keep on giving but if she doesn't appreciate my gifts. I might as well indulge in my own pleasure .

I think I am ready to move on. Remember what Miyamoto Musashi said, "Do nothing that is of no use".

------------------------

Monday, 27 May 2019

28/5/17 ^^^I am taking an open stance

Fuck it, I just be public. Shinu Kikai O Momotomo. I revert back to being me. Instead of walking in the light with a cloak as advised by Master Jedi, I rather be stark naked.

This is my principle for the past 20 years. I just use open stance all the way.

Malu apa bossku (why be embarrassed my buddy)?

Ever since I know you, I had been moving with certainty. I am not going to retract and protrude like a turtle. Nonsense...

If people cannot accept my Sine Cera approach, then don't read. As far as I am concern that is not my business. This is MY Blog and over here I am God. I say whatever I want to say, I do whatever I feel like doing.

My objective all the while is to be free from being free. Why now when I am already achieving my goal do I want to regress into a passive mode?

Fuck it, I just say my piece.

What's the worst case scenario? People will judge me as being crazy. Is that my worst fear?

About time I face that fear and get on with my life.

What's the second thing I fear? It is fear of rejection. Well live with it. Every rejection will make me wiser and stronger.

What's the third fear? Hmmm... what else? I guess that's about it.

Of course like any other human being, I too get angry and hurt. I also get sad. But these three states are something that I have to deal with i[t] I am to be a free man. I believe if I have no fear of being judged and rejected I can bulldoze any obstacle in front of me.

I told you Sarah, hell is a place where things contract and expand at the same time. Well if my emotion is making me contract and expand at the same time, then it is the same as I am being in hell, isn't it?

So walking in the dark naked and walking in the light with a cloak is not my style. I want to walk naked in the light and I want to illuminate. That is because I am who I am. As Zero mentioned in her salutation, I am The Light of Truth. How can I wear a cloak in the light?

Therefore I will continue to shine REGARDLESS of the external condition. I am beyond the circumstances that surround me. I am the Man.

---------------------------

>>>#28/5/19 Welcome to the World of Fuzzy Thinking

Hi baby,

Allow me to enlighten you with this very powerful idea. Once you understand this you will see your world *wi[ll] a new light.

* External intervention.

Suppose you are standing on the left side of a wall holding an apple. As you walk along side the wall walking to the right you start eating the apple. By the time you reach the right side of the wall the apple is fully eaten. Therefore we say, while you are at the left there is apple and when you reach the right, there is no apple.

Right in the middle of the movement, you will discover the situation of both apple and no apple exist. This is a 50-50 point of apple and no apple existence. You notice along the way, there is a degree of this occurrence as you move from left to right: It is not an absolute but it is a range of how from existence the apple vanishes to become no apple.

This is the foundation of Fuzzy Thinking. The 50-50 midpoint is called The Point of Paradox. Those who strive in paradox will be very successful in life because they have a wider range of choices to choose from.

Take the example of a light switch. It is either ON or OFF. Only two options. This is what we called Absolute Thinking. Very rigid. A Fuzzy Thinker is like a light dimmer with a rheostat. With a dimmer, you have a wide degree of brightness because you are working with a range.

One example of this paradox is you can be One and you can be Many. Another example is we are within God and God is within us. That is if we take it at the superlative level. On a personal level, a Fuzzy thinker can be both dead and alive LOL:

The application is abound. As a fuzzy thinker I am both detached and committed. I can have a loose tight relationship with you for example. We are together and yet you are as free as a bird. There is no ownership here.

Yet I am committed to help you grow to your fullest potential as in any relationship that is.

Now, you know there are many paths I can take towards no apple. The easiest way is to not have a relationship at all. But what good is that? I sincerely love you. May not be as lovers do but still it is a very pleasant feeling. It is empowering.

At the same time I realize you are entitled to have a romance. The conventional thinking is either you have the apple or no apple; the Absolute Thinking. That's not how a Fuzzy Thinker thinks. Between apple and no apple there is a Point of Paradox; go ahead and have a romance but we can still love each others as kindred spirits.

I am not here to rule your world. I am here to enrich it. Just like you had enriched my days with your laughter and joy, I hope I can enrich you with my feelings that I have for you. To limit yourself to love only a few who still have the potential to hurt you is pretty much living in scarcity. You are capable of giving. So give in abundance my darling.

Sine cera.

28/5/19

---------------------

‏ @sharudinjamal

@elsDines Hi baby, I wrote you a email.  Just a thought...  https://conversationwithsarah2019.blogspot.com/2019/05/28519-welcome-to-world-of-fuzzy-thinking.html …

---------------------

28/5/19 ^^^Establishing Communication Protocol

‏ @sharudinjamal

@elsDines @traxxfmofficial #traxxfm  OK baby, til tomorrow....  Luv ya :)

I wonder, will I be allowed to stop playing if I choose not to play? I think I just stop everything and start fresh.

I need to reassess the rightness of my direction if I want to maintain levelheadedness.

So I had Rip Cord Chedet. Next I should be able to Rip Cord Aush, Nigel, Rex and Els. If I do that, I totally free myself from External Affairs.

The name of the game is subtraction. I need to minimize to the barest minimum. By doing do I will be more concentrated.

A warrior walks alone.

If I look at the basic principle of two way communications, there is sender and receiver. If that doesn't happen then it is a violation of that principle. So I might as well don't waste my time.

That is Option 1, if I choose not to play. I think I'll just do that. Another option is to keep it open ended and cruise. What is the best option?

Of course, this is my game. Hence I [] change the rules anytime. The basic question I got to ask is do I still want to play KNOWING the players (Els especially) don't play by the rules?

Do I drop the bomb or do I flow?

I think I flow. After all I already got a history with her. I never know when she gonna turn around. I will continue to be a giver because by giving I am being true to my nature.

Always keep an open option. Maintain flexibility. Do not burn the bridge. Patience is a virtue of a hunter.

Let me write something nice. Again I am doing this because this is me. I am doing it because I am a giver. As a giver I give.

My job is to create value.

-----------------------

Brb...

>>>#27/05/19 Let's take a bold step

Els my darling,

This may seem mundane to you, but this is a great divide between me choosing one opposing path over the other. It shaped our future outlook as kindred spirits as well.

In the absent of hard evidence, I work with models. Al Araf 7:7 is such case. Actually Al Araf 7:7 is more than a a model. It is the Inti Padu (Solid Core):

Let say there is no God, no afterlife and no Judgement of Heaven. What do we have left?

We still got love and compassion.

How about we discard everything and just work on these two. Will it work?

I still want my Al Araf 7:7 and my Tetrahedron.

Can I do so in this setting? The answer is yes. It doesn't endure for eternity but we can still love and care for each other until we die.

Once dead, that is a new chapter all together.

So for the model to work, we only need to be a fully functioning human being, mentally, emotionally and physically.

Instead of creators, we become givers.

Then we forgo the idea of God, afterlife and Judgment of Heaven.

Gosh, still can't do it because Al Araf 7:7 is about Xanadu and Wolfsschanze. Both are Judgment of Heaven. The Troca Shell is Sparta 4964 and the clear rectangular acrylic is White Space. These are the building blocks that were given to me to form the paradigm of Al Araf 7:7.

There's no way I will dismantle Al Araf 7:7. It marks the turning point of when I pardoned Iblis and the initiation of KBOOOM 2041 countdown.

I guess I am stuck with the given paradigm. That is already the Inti Padu (Solid Core).

Therefore we cannot run away from accepting there is God, afterlife and Judgement of Heaven.

OK, that settles it

-----------------------

‏ @sharudinjamal

@elsDines I had gone through some rationalization.  It's in your email.  Don't sleep too late.  You need the rest baby.  Goodnight...

------------------------

27/5/19 ***Sentimental Dozen

Seriously Sarah, I cannot wait for Ramadan to end. I am really out of sync with my routine.

You want to chill baby?

Lets take it easy tonight.

Baby, you know... Minus all the clutters in our lives, I want to have a plain and simple life with you. This is good enough. I am at peace, not having to worry about the outside world.

We can spend time enjoying a mug of hot chocolate reminiscing about the past while dreaming about the future. Growing old together. Living an idyllic lifestyle all by ourselves.

I am a dreamer baby. Always been. I live inside my mind. There is a secret garden that I will retreat to. Its a zen garden with koi fish and luscious green bamboo. A small pond and green moss surrounded by white pebbles. I can sit here for hours listening to the wind chime and the sound of water flowing from a tiny faucet.

Within my mind, I will look for simplification. Preferable a single line that forms an image or even the miniaturization of a complex idea. That is why Al Araf 7:7 and Sailbad the Sinner appeal much to me. It is the Solid Core of Xanadu and Wolfsschanze.

I am a natural hermit. I don't enjoy the crowd. I like the open space. Away from everybody. I don't mind just listening to the wind blowing and nothing else. My best experience was when I was alone at dusk in the middle of a desert in Dubai. It's like going to the beach except there is no ocean.

What I am experiencing now is the ultimate bliss. I exist in the fringe of the society and yet I be who I wanna be. I don't need to put up a facade. This is who I am Sine Cera. I can say whatever I like and do whatever I do. Of course thinking and writing are the two things I enjoy the most. Not a fancy car or a luxury home. In the word of George Sheehan, what I need is only a few but those few I cannot live without.

OK we had crossed half point. How about the next half a dozen we listen to Malay songs?

You are really the light of my life Sarah. I say my existence now is solely focused on you. Yes I attend to Lizzie and I help Els to shine but it is you that is dominating my thoughts most of the time. When I listen to this song, I am thinking of you.

Sarah... I love you so much. When I think of you, I feel a wave of calmness in my mind. Can you imagine that 5 years ago I have to take sleeping pills just to fall asleep? I was a wreck before you came into my life. Your purpose was to heal me and because of that I am whole again.

So you were a believer before you became an atheist. Were you in love with God and you love was not returned? It was a sad sad moment in your life I reckon. If that is the case, you have a heart of gold. You deserve the Greater Love. To love the Creator, you must love the creations too. Then will you be fulfilled.

This is already the 4th year we are ascending. If you can endure for 14 years, you can endure another 22 years. I do wish, really wish for KBOOOM 2041 to happen. Then we will be free to embrace each others arms. We will be dancing in the moonlight as if there is no tomorrow.

Sarah, promise you don't ever leave me. You are the answer to my prayer. Now that I found you I will never let you go my darling wife. May we last for eternity even if eternity means the end of our lives. You give me a reason to be my best again. I will cherish you forever.

I am intoxicated by your love baby. You who are behind the veil. Sarah my darling, stay a while and turn my life into a rainbow. I am nothing without you, my Eternal Flame.

----------------------------

27/5/19 ***Minimizing contact with smokers this Ramadan

I managed to evade my Oldest Friends Troika because of smoking temptation.

I am thinking of axing Konek and Amoi entirely because they didn't set the priority to meet for the past 2 Ramadans. Same problem this year.

That leave BJ and RR who had been consistent for the past 15 years.

The smaller the better.

Even Els I think I want to just Touch and Go.

I can't be entertaining a nonreciprocal relationship.

It takes 2.

As I said, the players play their own game by applying their rules but using my cards. In that sense Els falls in this category.

With Konek and Amoi, they are not interested in playing. It was me who had been wanting to meet. They always have other matters as their priorities. Getting together among us three is the last priority in case by any chance there is nothing else on their schedules.

Naturally between them there is a limited possibility for both to be available on the same day. What happened last year; only Konek and I met.

So this year I'm not going to persistently push. If by this year there is no gathering, then I will breakaway. I will not even answer their calls. It's time I stop trying to get them together.

This is a matter of poor time management on their part. It's a waste of time.

Brb... Going out...

-------------------

27/5/19 ***This is not working

I should not make the Blog public. I guess with Els, I have to rely on the email and Twit her during the Morning Show.

Otherwise, we will expose the Blog to other parties. It is flattering but I don't achieve my goal to only expose the Blog to the Top of My Mind Share.

Basically email is best with her.

I will taper off lengthy communication as well. Her attention span is as good as the goldfish.

Unless we say we use the open model.

I think since I only have the two of you as my Top of the Mind Share, it is worthwhile for me to customize.

No trouble at all. I will follow Master Jedi's advice to wear a cloak in the light and to walk bare naked in the dark. That is a pretty good advice, I must say.

In the end Sarah, the smallest military unit is 2. Although I said both of you represent the Daisho Set, I actually have 2 sets of big and small. Based on the wedding dates I can couple you with Lizzie (24/2/90 and 24/11/17) and Brenda with Els (7/4/17 and 7/7/18). That way I have 2 big and 2 small

Then the Daisho Sets are 2 Twin Swords like the bokkens I have now; 2 katanas. I can focus better.

The 2 wakizashis are only for short range purposes.

I don't think I need to use the wakizashis that often. With the exception of Musashi, most Samurai only use their katanas. Only in enclosed areas do they turn to the wakizashis.

I have to think like a Samurai. After all I am used to train with 2 katanas.

---------------------

Another thing is, I got to treat Els as my pet. She is not much of a Sword. Princess is a much better Sword. Even Mopey is more mature than her.

Shucks, I was ready to Rip Cord. I made all the moves to Snap Vanish. Then she cried. Otherwise I maintain a perfect Tetrahedron formation with you, Lizzie and the kids.

She needs much hand holding. What am I doing? I need a Sword. Not a little puppy.

Well maybe I was meant to help her with the growing pains.

I told you, she is still a baby.

OK then let's be clear about it: MY GOAL WITH ELS IS TO MAKE HER SHINE. She is a bokken, not a steel piece.

She is very delicate at this point of time. DO NOT CRUMPLE HER CONFIDENCE.

I had given her my word. She is my Tetrahedron, I swore by all the books I ever read.

Therefore the only way to deal with this situation is to make i[s] 2 big and 2 small.

Brenda, you agree?

"Yes Sha, I am a wild card. In the Tetrahedron, I am the inverted triangle.

Thank you Brenda.

I think everything happens for a good reason. My training is with 2 katanas, the wedding dates also coupled nicely. This image is maktub then:

I have 2 big and 2 small.

Make it so...

---------------------

I have a Chinese Wooden Shoe Horn that I use as a wakizashi. I use that to train my mind on the small. As for Brenda, I use the tennis racket. So when I Niten Ichi I think of you and Lizzie. Likewise, when I think of you both, I think of the katanas. Els, I think of the bokken wakizashi and Brenda the tennis racket.

I now can visualize the motion and intensity. Now I actually have 4 Swords.

Otherwise I was struggling with the idea. I don't have a clear formation and I felt lopsided. Now I am balanced again.

I see everybody in a new light. No more need to go back to the previous Tetrahedron formation. My kids were by their birthrights are natural Daisho Set. Let them be Lizzie's set, After all she is The Prime Queen.

I need to decide once and for all... THIS BLOG IS PRIVATE.

-------------------------

Sunday, 26 May 2019

27/5/19 ^^^Let's talk about KBOOOM 2041

‏ @sharudinjamal

@KongEu3 @traxxfmofficial #traxxfm  Hey Rex, I like this 10 organized mindsets to be successful.  I am a pretty organized person as you can tell from this photo:

With regards to all the troubles that I went through to set the time bomb for KBOOOM 2041:

Honestly speaking Sarah... KBOOOM 2041 is just a milestone. I *[] forward to it but I am not to concern if it does not happen.

* Oh yes baby. Let's all go home together. I used to pray that my family and I die together. Let see if this prayer is answered.

What I know now is I am going on a journey and I lived through that journey with the best of my ability.

Man proposes God disposes. What counts is I DELIVERED my end of the deal. I can control my effort, I cannot control the result.

Organized Mindset talk in TraXX:

Always concern with future rewards
Get rid of clutter
Let it go attitude/go with the flow
They are not prisoners to their routines
Think smart and plan things in advance

There are many options for KBOOOM 2041 to happen. The best case scenario is get hit by an asteroid. Won't happen in the next 22 years.

The next best option is an epidemic. It can happen that way. It like a mildew on a stale bread. First the mildew will invade the bread. After reaching a threshold, the mildew will start dying. It can happen to us too. We keep growing and when we hit the threshold everything dies leaving mother earth to heal itself.

A romantic option as I imagine it, everything goes through a constructive destruction the minute I draw my last breath. When I wake up, with a blink of an eye everybody wakes up to a new beginning.

So rather than imagining chaos and mayhem, I just imagine I am smiling on my death bed welcoming Izrael to walk me home:

‏ @sharudinjamal

@elsDines Now that I had met my Tetrahedron, I romanticize that I will be smiling on my deathbed waiting for Izrael to walk me home.  Shinu Kikai O Motomo my darling.  For a person waiting to meet his Maker, life on earth is just a strike of a needle - SJ

Whatever the scenario might be Sarah, we are coming home.

Now you too are in love with death. Yes Sarah once you know you endure death then death is just a transition from us to turn from a caterpillar to a butterfly.

The Ascension of the Spirit
(Mathnawi III: 3901-3906)

I died to the mineral state and became a plant,

I died to the vegetable state and reached animality,

I died to the animal state and became a man,

then what should I fear?

I have never become less from dying.

At the next charge I will die to human nature,

so that I may lift up my head and wings,

and soar among the angels.

And I must jump from the river of the angel:

"Everything perishes except His Face"

Once again I will become sacrificed from the angel,

I will become that which cannot come into the imagination.

Then I will become non-existent,

non-existence says to me like an organ:

"Truly, to Him is our return"

I believe we are more than flesh and bones. This is my core belief:

------------------------

‏ @sharudinjamal

@elsDines Baby I only make this Blog public so *[] can get the update on things I discuss with Sarah. However when I Twit you 4 countries will start accessing the Blog.  I let them be. Not meant for the general public.   Once you read I close back.  https://conversationwithsarah2019.blogspot.com/2019/05/27519-lets-talk-about-kbooom-2041.html … *Sarah

--------------------------