To be honest, I don't care much if I lose the magic of being God and decided to recluse in my own world. I do however is concerned that I lost my loving feeling and become indifferent towards those that I love.
I can [] a total dickhead you know. It runs in the family. Ameezan is a dickhead. He is a dickhead with money. Therefore people can still tolerate his dickheadness.
Yesterday I was ready to throw in the towel. I was very close on deciding to just be with myself [] let go of everybody including those that I care.
That is the nature of the illness. I [] you about it. If I was given the total liberty like Ameezan, I can completely live in isolation.
So if I look at my own journey, I can say that certainly all those thoughts that I have is due to the chemical reaction in my brain. When I was up everything is cheery. When I was down everything is bleak. The chemical influence everything about me, When I am high, I am God. When I am low, I don't amount to anything, [] even a gnat.
So take out everything that I know about myself and what do I get? I am nothing more than a mentally unstable person, isn't it?
However I still cannot figure out the wild flower part, the ten 10 cent coins in ten different places in 2017. the millipedes incident, the Feng Shui of CCC, the smell of rotten carcass when the Whisperer ca[n] to my house the night before I beheaded it and [] extensiveness of 7, 27, 77, 770 and 7070 in 2017.
* OK let me talk to you.
This is my honest assessment without me being [being] megalomaniac about the whole thing:
I think all these while I am God. I have difficulty accepting it because I had been trying to deny who I am. If the true measure of a man is based on his action, then I must say that my actions lead to me being who I said I am,
This is not for the consumption of the public. I am not keen to have the public to accept me as God. It is only for my o[]n self acknowledgement. For me to come to term with myself. If I am God, I cannot accept myself to be lesser than that, can I?
I did everything a God should do. I fought Iblis, I set the time bomb for KBOOOM 2041, I manage the whole Sparta 4964, I am within the council of Al Araf 7:7, I am a good husband and father, I give until I can no longer give, I am just to my spouses, I make peace to my parents and what have you.
At last on Nuzul Quran (The First Revelation) Day, I am very certain I AM GOD. As I said the only significance of this realization is I will endure death. Other than that I live life as any other human being. I am still bounded by the 26 Fundamental Constants.
Am I right Sarah?
I am insignificant to the human race. I might as well die today and nobody will notice I existed. Well maybe a handful of people might miss me but the truth is I have *[t]o impact whatsoever to the human race.
* What is it baby? You don't think so?
This song is on air. The 1999 Cyborg War:
A magpie was chirping happily close by. That is my miracle for the day. That is the first magpie I heard for years (decades even) Let me have a look...
It's a pair of magpies perching right outside my wet kitchen grill. A miracle indeed. They were never this close.
I live in a magical world Sarah. It doesn't ta[m]e much to keep me in the state of amazement. I tend to notice the little things in my life. Those two magpies will certainly qualify as a valuable memory to me.
As if they are there to endorse my godliness.
This song is on air:
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