25/5/19 ***I am back to where I started

I got 1 week to shake off the cigarette sensation before meeting RR and BJ again next Friday,

I'll just follow Nancy Reagan's advice:

This only happens in Ramadan.  So if I can pass through Ramadan without getting hooked, I will be on my way to my Athlete4Life goal.

I am *[] a spineless person who cannot have self-control.  After all it is is just one cigarette.  What I'll do is next week when [] my smokers friends I'll buy the double dosage Nicorette.  Dope I am not worried.  It is not addictive.  Cigarette though I need to be careful.

* Yes I need your moral support.  

This is what my college mate, Azham forwarded to me:

Excellent poem.

This poem gives me a permission to be eccentric.

I just turned my brother and sisters into MOSSAD sympathizers:

[2:11 PM, 5/25/2019] sharudinj: Ameezan a loner, Norliah dalam kesengsaraan

[2:11 PM, 5/25/2019] sharudinj: So kita2 aje lah

[2:14 PM, 5/25/2019] sharudinj: Rohaizad hilang terus menyepi

Ok Alhamdullilah. Ikatan kekeluargaan penting dlm kehidupan yg sementara ini.  Selamat berpuasa.

"Where no wise direction is, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety" (Proverbs 11,14). 

A season swordsman will never wield his sword aimlessly - Sharudin Jamal.

Go all the way — Charles Bukowski

“If you’re going to try, go all the way.

Otherwise, don’t even start.

This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind.

It could mean not eating for three or four days.

It could mean freezing on a park bench.

It could mean jail.

It could mean derision.

It could mean mockery — isolation.

Isolation is the gift.

All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it.

And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds.

And it will be better than anything else you can imagine.

If you’re going to try, go all the way.

There is no other feeling like that.

You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire.

You will ride life straight to perfect laughter.

It’s the only good fight there is.”

I think I just mess with my siblings and mother's mind a bit.  I'll send them this:

It is a rapier sword LOL.

Every opportunity is for Thought Invasion.  That is what I am good at.  Even last night when I was with BJ, I tried to make him see that he is god and all these worshiping is actually obsolete.  Up to him to accept or reject.  

My job is to express my thoughts.  Since he is a long time buddy, he just listened.  Good thing about BJ is he is not judgmental.

I am really living my life right now.  Finally I can be who I am.  I didn't transformed into an immoral, senseless person.  It turned out I am more responsible with my words and actions.  There's no rage.  I am becoming a human being in its true sense.  I am an emphatic being.

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